31 Weeks Pregnant
Excuse me while I internally freak out a little bit! 31 weeks! Eek! I met with my midwife this week and she told me a story about one of her clients from a previous month giving birth on her older daughter’s birthday. I kid you not when I say that the week before one of my birthing dreams had been that exact scenario – it is exactly what I have planned for the day of Lior’s birthday, and then my dream matched up with what this family actually experienced. So weird. Of course I don’t PLAN to give birth of Lior’s birthday (really hoping this DOESN’T happen!!), but I felt that by having the dream I worked out what I would do to make that an “okay” scenario, and still special for Lior. Part of my wouldn’t be surprised if this is what actually happens, only because Lior and the baby have such a strong connection. But again, I’m hoping it’s not the case…
I forgot to say last week that I have started doing some art journalling in preparation for this birth. Last Shabbat I spent some time in the afternoon praying and seeking God about what I should focus on to prepare me for this birth. I received a really beautiful word, and when I did some research I found some really intense and beautiful meaning in this word which I wasn’t expecting to find. It is really perfect for this scenario, and so I’m creating some art works to focus on while I’m in labour, and prepare me during these last weeks of pregnancy.
This week Luke and I had a more serious discussion about names, and created a short list. I think we may have actually decided on a boys name and girl’s name. Or least down to a short list of two each. I think we’ll keep those under wraps though until the baby is born. I’m feeling more at ease about it now, as I don’t want to feel pressured and rush into it like we did with Eli.
I’m enjoying Shabbat more and more lately – mostly because my body is getting tired, and I’ve been so busy culling all our belongings that I’m really feeling grateful for a day of rest without any guilt.
32 Weeks Pregnant
This week Luke was away for most of the week down in Sydney for work. The boys were pretty well behaved, but struggled at night. Luke read them their bedtime story each night via a phone call (he took the book with them), and I think that really helped, but Eli was waking every hour in the night. It made me a pretty tired mama, and gave me a little freak out that in two months time I’ll be doing this with a newborn (well, hopefully not quite that frequently…). I definitely don’t need the practice though, and the first night once Luke came back Eli was totally back to his regular sleeping patterns, so it was definitely a missing Daddy thing.
We got our family photos taken this week. I have been reassured that there are heaps of really beautiful ones to choose from, but my heart sunk a little when nearly everything went wrong on the day – from outfits not working out, to both children sleeping just before the late afternoon shoot and therefore neither being happy. Stuff that doesn’t actually happen any other time that it wasn’t even on my radar as a possible thing that could wreck the photos. While both boys usually gush over the baby and give my belly sweet kisses, there was none of that this afternoon, and Eli was clinging to me the whole time which made it difficult even just getting a photo of Luke and I together. Ah, the joys of working with children, hey?! And then the next day he was so lovely and happy and relaxed. This is why I’m glad I’m able to take reasonably good photos myself – because at least I do have photos of them being sweet and happy, just not REALLY nice ones, and not with me in them. haha! Oh well. I wonder if he is starting to sense the imminent change. While it is still at least 2 months away (lets say 2 ½ months), that time will go pretty quickly, and he has no sense of time like that anyway.
This week I have had some mild cramping, which I assume must be some sort of braxton hicks (this is what Dr Google tells me – either that or preterm labour – haha!), but seriously, I will ask my midwife at my next check even though I’m 100% sure it’s not preterm labour. Just in case it’s something else I don’t know about, but by all accounts it should be a type of braxton hicks because it goes away when I move and change positions. I’ve switched over from the pregnancy relaxation music to the birth preparation music, but have been so tired that I’ve been falling asleep after like 10 minutes of it! Whoops! I listened to it on Friday while I put the boys down for their day nap, and that was much better timing, so I think it’s time to start getting serious about doing it each day or at least every second day so I can practice my breathing and relaxing. So even if they go to sleep on the way home from our morning activities (which usually happens) I’ll still spend that nap time listening to it and resting myself. Even though it’s so tempting to just do my own thing in that time, my general feeling this week is that I’m overdoing it a bit, and that I’m acting like a non-pregnant woman, or an early pregnant woman, and forgetting that this is a sensitive time of life that needs some kindness and care, and is a time of life to take a step back. At least this is what I always say to people, and recommend, but it’s apparently hard to put into practice!
I’ve been trying to think about what was different in the lead up to Lior and Eli’s birth. While Lior’s birth was less than ideal, the timing (born at 39 weeks) was ideal. The most obvious was that I finished all my relief teaching work mid December, and so I had a whole month where I just watched TV and went for loooooong walks in the air-conditioned shopping centre, and was really pretty relaxed and at ease about the whole thing. I wasn’t highly motivated to get anything done as Lior’s room had been decorated when we first moved house, and I knew I wasn’t actually going to finish any of my big projects like his quilt. With Eli though, I was looking after Lior and focusing on keep him entertained each day, and we really had a big list of stuff I was trying to achieve each day. Perhaps it means nothing, but it’s something that’s popped into my head lately, and I feel like it’s important to honour that thought and take it through the motions to see if it’s a viable reasons for me personally. It’s so hard with birth stuff, because everyone is so different and has such varying opinions and personal experiences! Anyway, with Lior’s birthday on the 13th, there’s not much I can do to stop myself before then, but I would like set aside the whole month of January for plenty of pool days (I’m going to buy a pool pass to our local pool if no one else gets it as gifts for the boys), and no plans. This means I want to get all my birth art prep done in December (though of course I can still add to it, as it’s quite a relaxing thing to do – but I don’t want pressure to finish it), and have already organised myself to have Lior’s cake made and shaped in advance, when I make Eli’s and then freeze it so that all I have to do is ice it on his birthday. All his birthday prep like gifts are mostly already done, and we’re keeping things pretty low key for his day. I hope to eat many mangos and watermelon in January, and lie on our trampoline while the boys bounce around me! Haha!